Yes, it happens. Today was dedicated to visiting the Museum of Old and New Art (MONA). This is an art museum privately funded by a rich dude which subsequently boosted tourism immensely in Tasmania. So, expectations were sky high.

Later, we have a subpar evening in Hobart.

The above photo is of the artwork “Cunts… and other conversations” by Greg Taylor. The full artwork is of four long rows of porcelain vulvas from real life women.

You want the tl;dr on MONA? It was okay. I was prepared to be shocked and challenged but I was neither. The collection seemed a bit incoherent and random; there was no overarching theme or message. Just a rich dude’s expensive toys. The “shocking” pieces that were on display weren’t that shocking to me although my threshold for gore and crude things is quite high these days. The above artwork certainly wasn’t shocking, but was indeed thought provoking. Did I look like a perve walking up to each sculpture? If I did, then that’s your problem. But I did notice male visitors were keeping their distance, A included, unfortunately. They might’ve learnt a thing or two if they didn’t.

Let’s rewind a bit and start from the beginning of the day:

Queens Pastry

We slept in a little bit today. I had noticed this striking mint green pastry shop whilst in the car and thought it would be nice to try. They had signs saying when their croissants come out fresh from the oven - 7:30 am, 8:45 am and 10:30 am. Well, I deserved a sleep in, so we popped into the store at 10:30 am sharp.

I got the Croissant (AUD 4.5) which was warm, crispy and very buttery. However they were painfully small. Looking at it now, it does look over cooked as well.

A had the Pain au chocolat (AUD 5.7) which was flakey but lacked chocolate :( all you got was a small pat.

Cafe Nom Nom

For lunch we walked into the CBD to Cafe Nom Nom. The CBD actually looked a bit busy with people hustling and bustling. But nothing like SydBourne.

The cafe was an Asian fusion cafe that sold a variety of popular Asian items as well as your usual Aussie cafe favourites. We went with an Aussie Waffle (AUD 19), which came with 2 eggs, avo, spinach, bacon all on a waffle with maple syrup. We also added smoked salmon (AUD 5) to make the dish more substantial as we were sharing. However they were quite stingy with this, which was unfortunate as they were quite good with the bacon and avo.

The dish was nice and A appreciated the runny yolk. We also had a Matcha Frappe (AUD 6.50) on the side but it was a bit too icy unfortunately.

Museum of Old and New Art (MONA)

It was time to head off to MONA, for which we were required to order tickets online (AUD 30). MONA was out of the CBD so we took the X20 bus, which took around 40 minutes. The nicer way to get there is using their MONA ROMA ferry service, which sounded cool but cost $25 per head return, yeah sorry but no thanks. I had noticed their ferries docked at Brooke Street Pier, and they were obnoxious looking with a camo print decal.

The bus was fine. I got a glimpse of kunanyi’s peak. It was a much clearer day than yesterday but we had no time to visit it again now.

The museum was underground and built into a cliff which was pretty cool. There was exposed cliff throughout. You started at the bottom level and made your way back up to the surface, but honestly I felt it made no difference. There were no windows and was kind of dark in some places, like a casino or shopping centre that didn’t want you to leave.

There were no signs for any of the art. You had to download an app on your phone to read even the names of the artworks and the artist who produced it, as well as a small description. Some artworks had a small audio file available that you could listen to, so you needed earphones for that too.

Here’s that close up of “Cunts… and other conversations”. Take a good look.

Other highlights I didn’t capture were:

• Something More by Tracy Moffat
• Various coffins from Ancient Egypt
• China China by Ah Xian
• White House by Ai Weiwei
• Opticks by Isaac Newton
• Assyrian inscriptions

There was a ladies only lounge which I appreciated. A female butler stood at the entrance, welcoming women (and those identifying as women) and keeping out the men. It was quite a small space, to be honest, but nice and moody. There was a Picasso (Luncheon on the Grass, 1961), a Sidney Nolan, antiquities, a plush couch and lots of green velvet.

There was an artwork (“Mona Confessional” by Oliver Beer) that required engagement from visitors, where you were supposed to make a confession to a stranger through a metal pipe, who was standing on a different floor as yourself. I spoke to some kids and an adult man, who I informed A ran a chicken (nativehen) off the road.

The worst thing by far was “Cloaca Professional” by Wim Delvoye, which is an art installation which mimicked the way our digestive system worked. It was utterly bizarre and it smelt rank. We watched it get fed a full meal of steak and potatoes.

<Edit: added in 2025>

In 2024, a man tried to sue MONA for discrimination of his gender. He subsequently won, the Ladies Lounge closed and they moved the Picasso to the ladies’ toilet. But soon after they admitted it was actually a fake as the Picasso Administration raised questions. MONA appealed and won, because discrimination was allowed if it was intended to highlight inequality and equal opportunity. Haha, what a twist.

Obviously, this whole saga was all performance art, where the denial of entry for men was part 1 and someone finally taking action against this form of discrimination (which, for the record, in this scenario, it is) being part 2. Now that we know the Picasso and other artworks (“spears” from Papua New Guinea and plastic jewellery) were fake, the man claiming discrimination kind of looks silly as it turns out he wasn’t missing much at all, except that’s not 100% true, as the Sidney Nolan was authentic (and quitely forgotten about). So what was the message here, let’s give the ladies an enjoyable experience (as described here, the “Picasso” is name dropped) to highlight the inequalities in society only to show artworks from celebrated men who treated women poorly, except (one of them) is fake? Did I miss the point?

These “Picassos” weren’t the only fakes in the lounge/toilets. Others included “spears” from Papua New Guinea and plastic jewellery “heirlooms”.

</Edit: added in 2025>

Overall, we were there for 4-5 hours. It was ok. Didn’t change my life. Didn’t make it in my top 10 favourite art galleries. Sorry. I’m glad for the Tasmanians though. AUD 30 was a little steep but apparently the owner doesn’t profit from this venture.

We headed back to Hobart and had to wait ages for a bus back to town.

(Best viewed on desktop and in full screen mode)

Hobart Twilight Market

I had noticed a sign for the Hobart Twilight Market at Brooke Street Pier the other day so we agreed to go there for dinner. It was a bit chilly so not ideal for a market but the locals were no doubt used to it.

There were not that many stalls and most of them were quite expensive. There was potato on a stick, chinese baos, an Indonesian stall, some really expensive empanadas and pasta. None of this really interested us except there was a Bruny Island Oysters stall (which our host from Barrington Church B&B said were very good). We weren’t going to Bruny Island so this was our opportunity to have oysters from that part of Tassie. They were freshly shucked to order and I was confident they had to be as good as Melshell Oyster Shack, so we ordered one dozen.

Womp womp. They were not on par with Melshell but still good but a little fishy, but not Sydney Rock Oyster fishy (the usual thing we get at home). A had a little more than his usual 1 or 2 but it was still up to me to finish it all, which I did easily of course. That said, my disappointment was obvious.

After that we walked up to the building on the pier and had a peek inside. There were more market stalls but none were selling food, it was all homewares and clothing. Again they were all quite expensive and nothing caught my eye.

Flippers Cooked Seafood

We were still hungry so we walked around to Constitution Dock and had dinner at one of the fish and chip shops - Flippers Cooked Seafood. We ordered a Sea Farer pack (Blue-Eye Trevalla, 4 calamari rings and chips, AUD 19.50). It sounded like it would be a good feed and disappointment hit me yet again as a small box appeared when I went to the collection window to pick up my order. The fish was nice but small, the calamari was average, a bit overcooked, and there was a small amount of chips. It seemed a bit stingy. I insisted we order a garden salad (AUD 5) to make ourselves (well, just me, to be honest) feel better.

Perhaps it was our fault for eating at a touristy area.

Van Diemens Land Creamery (Again)

And for the last time ever.

In an attempt to make things better, A suggested we visit the neighbouring Van Diemens Land Creamery, which was also on Constitutional Dock. I was not entirely sold as I did not really enjoy it that much when we visited them in Elizabeth Town. And yep, what do you know, this would be the worst decision of the night by far, but you wouldn’t know it! There was quite a line when we walked over and it was starting to rain so we quickly joined in.

A got a bit confused with their menu, he wanted three different flavours, so three scoops. But their menu only had small (1 scoop, AUD 4), regular (2 scoops, AUD 5.50) and large (2 scoops, AUD 7.50) sizes, which was kind of odd. Well, he wanted three scoops so three scoops he got, which ended up being AUD 9.50. You’d think for an extra $2 they would give us bigger scoops as the cup size was the same but nope, they were quite stingy, and we quickly discovered the cup wasn’t even filled properly.

I actually got pretty pissed off and hangry at that point, all these poor decisions did not make for a nice evening. Stiffing us on ice cream with prices like that? I could’ve gotten an entire litre of some decent ice cream at the super market and just ate that on the wharf. I couldn’t even tell you what flavours we had, I didn’t care anymore. And it was late so there weren’t many options for food anymore.